


Akatsuki Valentine's Day

by oceansgrey



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:52:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17807504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceansgrey/pseuds/oceansgrey
Summary: How the Akatsuki spends Valentine's Day.





	Akatsuki Valentine's Day

**Author's Note:**

> This is technically two days late, but I wanted to do a Valentine's Day fic for my favorite international criminal organization.

Valentine’s Day was usually overlooked by most S-rank, missing nin, but the Akatsuki made sure it was a day celebrated, mainly due to Konan’s insistence that it was important for each partnership.

 

Kakuzu sat in his surprisingly quiet motel room, flipping through the Bingo Book. He had a few pages dog-eared, possible bounties to be collected for the sole purpose of generating more money for the Akatsuki. It seemed that each pair Kakuzu paid blew through money like it was air, since it seemed that Deidara was always in need of more clay, or Kisame in need of more weapon polish.

He really should set them all down to teach them how to properly budget, so that way they could accumulate more money.

“I’m back!” Hidan shouted, barging into their shared room. He held something behind his back, a coy smirk on his face. “I got you something for Valentine’s Day,”

“I swear, if you spent any money, I will kill you,” Kakuzu warned, narrowing his eyes. He genuinely was curious as to what his partner might have gotten him, but if he spent an outrageous amount of money, he wouldn’t hesitate to burn him to a crisp with Earth Grudge Fear.

“I got you something better, you filthy money-lover,” Hidan rolled his eyes, tossing a cache at Kakuzu.

Kakuzu caught it, feeling the weight in his hands. Flipping open the lid, he was greeted by the lovely sight of ryo, feeling a small smile come to his face. He was thankful his mask hid his smile, or else Hidan would hold it against him for all eternity.

“Where did you get this?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at his partner.

“I found a few of the guys you’ve been looking into in the Bingo Book, and brought them to your banker after making them offerings for Lord Jashin,” Hidan shrugged. “They were really easy sacrifices,”

Kakuzu let out a sigh, shutting the case.

“Let’s go out to eat tonight,” he said. “I’m tired of food pills. There’s a barbecue place, about a five minute walk from here,”

Hidan’s face lit up at the prospect of food, and Kakuzu had to fight the urge to let out a small chuckle. He was so predictable.

“Let’s get going!”

“You need a shower, first. You’re caked in blood,”

“Nah, it’ll be fine, Kuzu,”

Kakuzu rolled his eyes at the nickname, despite the small amount of joy it brought.

 

It was cold in Wind Country during the night. Deidara shivered, his teeth chattering. It was annoying that even his palm mouths seemed to chatter, instinctively moving closer to the fire in order to get some form of warmth.

“Danna, I’m cold,” he whined.

“Suffer, then,” Sasori waved him off, readjusting the gear to the mouth of Hiruko. “It gets cold in the desert. Not my fault you didn’t dress appropriately,”

Deidara frowned, turning his back to Sasori. They had been travelling for days in the middle of the desert, chasing a lead for Orochimaru that turned out to be a dud.

“I wish you weren’t my partner, hm!” Deidara said, drawing his cloak over him like a makeshift blanket. It was annoying to be partnered up with a puppet, since Sasori felt neither cold nor heat. They could be marching through Iron Country and he would barely flinch, while Deidara could be dying of hypothermia.

“Quit complaining, brat,” Sasori said, continuing his work.

Silence soon filled the night air, Deidara finally falling asleep despite the chill.

Sasori felt bad for his partner, after a while of fixing his puppets. He sometimes forgot that he was just human, and was susceptible to the elements.

Sasori stood, grabbing Hiruko’s discarded cloak. It was much larger than the one he typically wore, especially since he was the shortest member of the Akatsuki.

Trekking over to Deidara, he haphazardly tossed the cloak atop his shivering partner, letting a sigh of content out once Deidara’s teeth stopped its’ ugly chattering.

Sasori almost didn’t notice the finely sculpted model of the Sandaime’s puppet, preserved in perfectly fired and glazed clay.

Deidara even got the color of the hair right, a mini replica of Sasori’s finest work.

_Happy Valentine’s Day, Sasori no Danna._

Sasori felt himself smile, glancing over at Deidara’s sleeping form. The light from their fire flickered across his relaxed face, his brow settled rather than furrowed.

What a brat.

 

It was quiet in Pein’s Tower, the constant drizzle of rain the background noise for the dreary day. Konan’s fingers moved nimbly, focused on the task at hand. Nagato was resting in bed behind her, working by the light that drifted through the windows of their room. Her partner needed his rest, letting his Six Paths do most of the work for him, and she did not need to disturb him with any loud noises. It was calming to have the tower mostly to herself, since she wasn’t being interrupted to break apart disputes. The last time the boys had called for her opinion, she had nearly sent Hidan and Deidara straight to Hell covered in hundreds of finely placed papercuts, but Nagato had stopped her from doing so.

Sometimes, she felt that she babysat most of the members of the Akatsuki, rather than having coworkers. The only ones who seemed to give her proper respect were Kisame and Itachi, but that was simply because they truly feared her power. Hidan and Deidara seemed to forget how strong she could be and were usually on the receiving end of her wrath.

“Konan?” Nagato whispered, his Rinnegan seemingly staring holes into her.

“Yes, Nagato?”

“Could you please make me some tea?” he asked softly, followed by a series of coughing.

His condition worried her. He was too thin to properly be considered alive, and Konan suddenly remembered something from their childhood, stilling her movements with the paper.

_“Master Jiraiya, I’m too warm,” Nagato whined, tears brimming in his eyes._

_Jiraiya sighed, pressing a large hand to his forehead._

_“You’ve got a fever, kiddo,” he said, giving a sympathetic smile. “Konan, come with me real quick,”_

_“Yes,”_

_Following Jiraiya into their small kitchen, she watched as he observed several jars of dried herbs, labelled in his neat script._

_“Here,” he handed her dried echinacea and elder flower. “Start boiling some water. I’ll grab some eucalyptus,”_

_Konan nodded, doing as he asked. Soon, he came back with fresh eucalyptus, placing two leaves into a cup as Konan steeped the other herbs in the boiling water._

_“Master Jiraiya?” she asked. “How do you know this will work?”_

_“My teammate is the best medical ninja in the world,” he said confidently, a broad smile on his face. “She taught me this when our other member was sick,”_

Konan stood from her seat by the window, heading down the corridor to make tea. She knew they had the same herbs their former sensei used, since Itachi tended to get sick easily.

When Nagato woke again, he was greeted by a hot cup of tea and a bouquet of origami roses.

_Enjoy. – Konan._

Tobi frowned as he watched Zetsu tear into a fresh body, the disgusting crunch of bone filling the air.

Valentine’s Day wasn’t as fun for him, making him reminisce his past life, with Kushina bringing freshly made chocolates for Minato. He vaguely remembered seeing his former sensei blush profusely, his face beet red as Kushina insisted on him trying the chocolates.

He passed them off to both him and Kakashi, the two spitting them out from how bitter they were. Rin ate them dutifully, lying to Kushina about how amazing they tasted despite the tears in her eyes from the disgusting taste.

“You have to do crazy things for those that you love,” Minato had said, watching Kushina walk away with a pep in her step, believing that she had dropped off tasty sweets to her fiancé and his students. “Even if it means a little white lie here or there,”

Tobi sighed, gaze following Zetsu as he continued chewing into a spy.

He wished Rin was there by his side, wishing him a happy Valentine’s day, rather than the plant man who enjoyed cannibalism.

 

Valentine’s Day brought up bitter memories for Itachi. Memories of his mother making fresh sweets for his father, the smallest flicker of a smile on his face once he came home from a long day at the police station. Sasuke, spitting out the chocolates she worked so hard for, face scrunched up in disgust as he declared his hatred of sweets.

He loved the holiday, since she let him be the guinea pig for all of the sweets she made, always making extra for her beloved eldest son.

All holidays brought a disgusting ache to his chest.

It would explain why he was currently lying on the floor of their inn restroom, the cool tile pressed against his warm cheek.

“You can’t do this every holiday, Itachi,”

Kisame hoisted him back up, ignoring the empty bottles of expensive wine lying on the floor of their inn room. Kakuzu would throw a fit if he knew that Itachi “wasted” money on the wine, but it didn’t matter. The sudden movement made his stomach lurch, leaning into the toilet to empty out the contents of his stomach.

Kisame kept a firm hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles into his shoulders as he kept Itachi’s hair out of the way.

“I miss my brother,” Itachi said pitifully, trying to fight off the tears that came easily. He wasn’t one to drink often, since it made him more vulnerable to the emotions he tried to hide every day.

His partner was silent, a warm hand still resting on his back, steadying him.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, and then in bed,”

“I’m sorry,” Itachi cried, suddenly overwhelmed. “I’m a terrible partner,”

Kisame shook his head, helping him back to his feet.

“It’s okay to have emotions, Itachi. You once told me we’re human, not fish. You’re allowed to feel sad every once in a while,” Kisame wrapped an arm around Itachi’s waist, helping him move towards the shower.

Itachi passed out in bed shortly after he showered, not noticing the package of dumplings his partner bought, a scribbled note attached to the finely wrapped box.

He would see it in the morning, the day after Valentine’s Day, and return the gift with a small smile and a promise to buy weapon polish for Samehada. 


End file.
